A Tall Tale of Politeness in China

The first time I went to China (2002) with my husband, we were regularly stopped to have our picture taken. A whole bunch of Chinese people would come from seemingly nowhere and crowd around us. They were always polite and gracious, but always on the verge of laughing uncontrollably. My husband and I would stand in the middle, smiling at the unexplained attention we were getting. They would take picture after picture of us, other cameras would show up, we kept smiling.

I always knew they were amused by his height (6'7"). After all, when any of the Chinese would come stand by him, they would be the same height as his belt buckle which they found hysterically funny. But it didn’t explain why I was included in these photo moments. I’m not that tall by their standards. Was it more than his height? Were we that special looking? So outstandingly handsome that people couldn’t help but ask for a picture with us? Or were we just freaks? Whatever, they were always gracious to us and thanked us profusely.

Over the years, these polite photo forays continued. Last year, as we were coming out of a museum, a group descended on us for the usual snapshot experience. We stopped walking, preparing ourselves for the onslaught of twenty or more people who would gather around us. One young woman, however, cut in front of me and took my place by my husband's side. I was relegated to standing behind her, virtually unseen. Some of her friends came along and crowded me out altogether. I stepped aside unnoticed. I watched from the sidelines as the laughing went on and cameras were clicking. Alas, I realized this photo scene wasn’t about us as a couple, and, lest I had any other idea, it certainly wasn’t about me----it was merely about a tall man in contrast with short people which the Chinese find very, very funny. Things are loosening up in China, and so are those Confucian ways that require strict decorum. I can only surmise that up to that point politeness had prevented them from asking me to step aside, until one young Chinese figured out how to make it happen.

Truthfully, watching my husband surrounded by all those short laughing people was a highlight for me. I was happy to relinquish my image, however photogenic it may or may not be. And I'm happy to see their shining faces and hear their delightful squeals----even if they aren't so polite

anymore.