E-mail Derail - Feng Shui to the Rescue

I am very particular about my space----most of that is due to my background in Feng Shui studies but some of it is due to my mother’s training. Nevertheless, I am typically fastidious about things around our home. When life takes me on a temporary whirlwind, the stress for me increases because of the clutter that I’m faced with every day because of my schedule. I simply don’t have time to deal with it so when I see it, I become even more agitated.

One area that has become nearly crippling for me is the issue of emails. I get, on average, 30 to 40 a day. How can that be? I’m not a US Senator, I’m not running for office, I don’t have an on-line business. But truthfully, if I’m gone all day for whatever reason, when I return home I know that when I turn on my computer there will be an enormous amount that’s stacked up in my absence.

Of course, a lot of those emails I delete immediately as they hold no interest for me. If I can get my name off their email list, I’ll unsubscribe, but some of these sales pitches don’t allow me that option. Isn’t there a law about that? Nevertheless, I still face close to 20 emails daily which require some kind of action on my part. I struggle to keep my current email list below 100 at any one time. What is wrong with this picture, I ask myself ?

When I’m so adamant about my physical surroundings, I am understandably annoyed and befuddled by the computer clutter. For about five days this summer, my old computer crashed and I didn’t have one. My delight in being able to have a normal day without my nose in a laptop was lessened by the reality that, when I did get back on-line, I’d have more emails than I could bear. And that’s how it played out.

Sometimes I will take 2-3 hours on a day when I have some time and go through them one-by-one, with the idea that I’ll make a decision about a particular email, take action, move on to the next one, until I’ve gotten through them all. The issue always seems to be that the first ones I look at require a couple hours each of my time-----submit an article, send my curriculum vitae (needs updating), write a letter of recommendation, plan a course. These aren’t easy one-two requests.

I’ve decided that I’m going to enlist my Feng Shui expertise in finding a way to slow this influx of communication down to a more manageable flow. I’m not sure what this means, but I’m desperate. I’ve got a few ideas in mind and will experiment and let you know what worked and what didn’t. Since I’ve been writing this blog, I’ve received five additional emails (I would know this because my computer dings when a new one comes in). I know I’m not alone with this problem, so in the interest of all of us who struggle with computer infringement, I will begin my research now and let you all know. Oop---another computer ding.

Sale or No Sale

Lately, about one-third of the people who contact me for Feng Shui guidance are trying to sell their homes. These people are looking for some kind of insight about how to rise above a depressed market. These aren’t just local folks, but people from all over the country.

Understandably, there’s a desperation in the tone of their voice or their written words----particularly because usually something else is hinging on this sale. Sometimes the new job has already started so the spouse who needs to relocate has left already. Sometimes the current owners have a contingency offer on the house of their dreams and are despondent around just the thought of losing it. Sometimes they’ve even bought another house and are now facing an uncertain future with two house payments. It’s obvious that many of the people who call me wouldn’t normally do so under different circumstances. Desperation moves people to try just about anything, even Feng Shui.

Luckily, about close to half of my clients who have called me in to help sell their homes actually end up selling shortly after our time together. They’re the believers----Feng Shui is the greatest tradition around. Where else in their lives can they put this magic to work? they ask. If Feng Shui can sell their house, think of the other possibilities. The other half of my clients are not as pleased. Feng Shui didn’t work, they announce. Of course, that upside St. Joseph statue didn’t do much either.

So why some homes and not others? I have all these clients run through the same protocol----clean out the basement first to "lift anchor," remove photos of themselves and family members to neutralize the space, begin packing (which should involve some valuable sorting and throwing), write a letter to the house thanking it for all it has done for them over the years (this is especially helpful if the people didn’t particularly like the house; it helps to bring about a nice closure). We discuss whether someone might be hanging on to the house, consciously or unconsciously. We discuss whether an entity might have settled in and won’t let it go. We micro-manage the northwest or Helpful People area of the house.

And still some houses don’t sell. To say it’s a matter of timing to someone who needs to get out from under a mortgage payment isn’t very comforting. Yet, when all else fails, that seems to be the only reason left on the table. It simply isn’t the right time. Feng Shui can shift and manipulate energy, but there are limits. Evidently a very hard lesson has to be learned here----perhaps about impulsively jumping into something before looking at all consequences. Maybe the lesson is about listening to one’s own intuition (countless people stuck with homes on the market say to me they had a funny feeling about trying to sell right now----just didn’t feel right). Maybe the lesson is about realistic expectations with regard to a selling price.

I wish I had the magic wand that put "Sold" on all those real estate signs. There’s a house two doors down from us that was sold once but came back on the market because the buyers couldn’t sell their home. Every time I see the sign in their yard (again), I’m sad for them. And I’m sad for the house because it is sitting empty. Whenever I see potential buyers going in to look at it, I smile and wave from my front yard----my small effort to make the neighborhood seem appealing and irresistible. That’s not working either.

Who Are We To Judge?

This week I had a Feng Shui practitioner from out of state contact me with an issue in her own space. As it happens with all of us, we’re blinded when it comes to our own situation. We may be nothing short of brilliant in a stranger’s home or office, eloquently honing in on their problems, delivering the message with authority mixed with a blend of kindness, looking them straight in the eye lest they try to avoid our forthright message. Yet when it comes to our own house, we’re dead in the water.

So it was with Ruth. She knew something wasn’t right, couldn’t get a problem to turn around, felt like she had done everything she possibly could and didn’t have a support system in the area where she lived. Things were getting desperate, so she went on-line and found me. Ruth spoke easily about the directional aspects she’d worked with, the blessings and ceremonies she’d performed in the space, and the bagua. It seemed she was highly trained in several Feng Shui modalities. There wasn’t anything I said that was unfamiliar to her nor did she once say "I don’t understand."

We spent a good 20 - 30 minutes discussing the situation, me asking her specifics about the ceremonies, had she thought of this? had she tried that? She had indeed covered the gamut. I was impressed with the respectful and professional way she had handled each adjustment or ceremony, allowing an appropriate amount of time to kick in. A good deal of our phone time was spent with me being a mirror to her words while she talked about the problem and the illusive solution. I was also impressed with her depth of knowledge and found the conversation stimulating. Together we decided on a course of action----one which she actually hadn’t considered.

I finally asked her with whom she studied. It’s the question I strongly suggest people always pose to a prospective Feng Shui consultant. There is no right answer to this question as long as they provide the name of someone and don’t say: "I’ve read some books." In line with the oral tradition that so many of the Chinese modalities followed, it’s important that an expert, Feng Shui or otherwise, have studied with someone. There’s an eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart transmission that happens, which, in my opinion, infuses the material with its power.

Imagine my surprise when Ruth’s answer to that very same question was "I’ve read a lot of books." I hung up the phone speechless and dumb-struck. Her depth of wisdom and intellectual understanding denied any lack of training. I'm not sure it still isn't the appropriate question to ask a consultant, but in this case, Ruth certainly defied the odds.