New Year Intentions

I really look forward to New Year’s Day. Every year about now I start to focus my attention on the day in preparation for a new year. It isn’t just about a fresh beginning, although that’s part of it. But truthfully, it’s about the actual day itself because my husband and I started a tradition years ago that we find nothing short of magical.

Feng Shui is all about intention. Someone can implement a change in their space to help it support their current life. Additionally, Feng Shui can also help someone support what they want to create in the future. And that’s what my husband and I do. Every New Year’s Day morning, we sit down and create our future. First, we look at the goals we wrote down last year and assess what we did with them. Then we make a list of new ones for next year. We make goals for ourselves individually as well as goals as a couple. We consider the financial parts of our life together, spiritual aspects, physical changes for the house, exercise plans, career steps, and recreation/travel ideas. Sometimes we’re collaborating on these topics and sometimes we’re putting our own plans together.

One of the most interesting parts of this ritual is reading what we wanted to accomplish a year ago. There’s no rule that says we can’t refer to our list throughout the year, but it seems like we don’t. So when we look at them again on New Year’s Day, we’re often surprised at how many of our goals were reached even though we had consciously forgotten about them. This is a good confirmation for the power of the written word. Writing an intention on a piece of paper, even if not referenced regularly, can still bring about change. Some of the items on last year’s list never got done. We may move them onto this year’s list or decide they weren’t all that important. Some other accomplishments may have happened that never made it to the list----a bonus, I say.

The years when we were into all the house projects around here, we would each write a letter to the house asking for guidance. One year we each got the same answer about whether to build on a sunroom—a definite “no” from the house. We opted for a deck and have never looked back on that decision. Even without specific remodeling projects, I find it helpful to check in with our home. It’s amazing what door gets open when you begin a clean page in the journal with “Dear Home.....” We’ve gotten some great ideas and insights from having done this letter-writing exercise.

We also throw the I-Ching coins for each of us individually and for us as a couple. We may even draw an angel card. My husband works with the Shustah cards which often become part of our routine. It may feel right to simply journal about the highlights or memorable parts of the past year for a bit of time.

All of this doesn’t take us more than two, maybe two-and-a-half, hours. It’s not much time considering we’re making an outline for the next 365 days. Yet it’s long enough for us to focus and discover our intentions for the next year of our lives. So, if you’re interested in giving this a try, get yourself a notebook or a journal and create your own ritual, create your own goals. Xin Nian Kuai Le as the Chinese say. May this New Year bless us all with good health, happiness and success.

Elements of Feng Shui

My husband and I just returned from five days in Mexico. Every year we try to make this a ritual—get away before the holidays. We come back refreshed and ready for celebration. I love Mexico so much because it truly takes me out of my element. Whenever I describe these trips, I find myself using that term a lot: “I’m getting out of my element,” “The trip brings a different element to my life,” “The experience takes me out of my element.” And although it may sound uncomfortable to do this or something I would typically want to avoid, there are times when I ache for it.

I had a realization one idyllic day during our vacation while sipping a pina colada, with my toes in the sand and the roar of the ocean in my ears----conditions perfect for an intellectual epiphany. It all had to do with my use of the word “element.” As anyone who has studied Feng Shui knows, one of its underpinnings is the cosmological structure called the 5 Elements. Based on constellations, directions, and the deeply-rooted agricultural tendency of ancient China, the Elements provide insight into the universal flow. There are 5 of these elements (fire, earth, metal, water and wood). Some people relate to one element or another in very intense ways while finding the other elements not to their liking at all. The goal is to have a representation of all five in your life in some way----through your environment (hence Feng Shui), through the foods you eat, through your own personality projections, through the clothes you wear, etc.

Like Lisa, who described the typical metal personality in her earlier blog, I also carry an exuberant amount of this energy. Frankly, I do not know how to be unorganized, even when I’d like to be. Perhaps I’m a little compulsive but I list things I have to do during the day, projects that I’d like to complete within the next two months, phone calls to make during the week, groceries we need for supper, Christmas gifts to buy, articles to write, you get the idea. I am desperately uncomfortable if I think I may have dropped the ball somewhere. This is metal at its highest, not necessarily its finest. So I surprise myself when I get to Mexico and don’t even want to figure out the currency.

That afore-mentioned day, with pina colada in hand, I realized that I truly move out of my metal element and drink (no pun intended) in the other elements instead. The fire is present in the heat and sun; the water----well, there is no mistaking the ocean; the earth—toes in sand, remember?; and wood is represented by the abundance of palm trees and flowering plants. But metal? None to be found. There is nothing in Mexico to support all my metalness, not one aspect, nada. And I love that.

I spent five days in no-metalville. No schedule, no lists, no pressure, no expectations. I did see people in Mexico, even on the beach, have some bad metal moments. I saw a guy have a meltdown when his cervesa took about ten minutes to get to him at his beach palapa. I witnessed someone yelling about a taxi not showing up instantly. And I saw plenty of impatient metal people waiting for the elevator. All I could think was: next time, leave home without it, people.

Truthfully, I have to admit it would drive me crazy to live metal-less indefinitely. But for a few days, leaving it behind was a relief. I’m back home now watching my element kick back in. I’m not disappointed about this for I was never expecting a full-out metamorphosis. However, I had the opportunity to change the way I did life and to immerse into a different reality. It wasn’t that hard, despite my edgy metal. In fact, it was elementary.

Feng Shui Ole!

Tomorrow my husband and I are leaving for Mexico for five days. We try to work this in every winter. We anticipate the trip for weeks prior to leaving, relish each and every minute while we’re there, and return renewed and invigorated. I have a friend who berates us for not spending more time down there. If you’re going to spend the money to go, why not stay longer, she preaches. I always have to reassure her we’re just fine doing it the way we want. I’m taking four books, three magazines and my Chinese to study-----as you can see, no tromping around ancient ruins for me. It always astounds me that we can both put the brakes on so quickly—no transition time required. We get there and drop.

The other piece that is so fascinating to watch is that we both adapt to the environment in ways we’d never do here in Minnesota. We eat hot spicey food, which would normally never agree with my system. We drink sometimes two margueritas a day (or pina coladas, depending on our mood) with no side effects. We read for hours on end with no pangs of guilt. Neither one of us could do any of this here without some ramifications.

I also wear things there that I would never wear here. In fact, I kind of have my Mexico wardrobe now----flamboyant, colorful, flowing items. My wardrobe color of choice (black) just doesn’t work in the land of endless sunshine and beaches. My husband wears a big floppy hat. He wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing here at home.

Adapting to one’s surroundings is what it’s all about. That time-worn Feng Shui phrase “Your space reflects your life” couldn’t be more true than when we land in Mexico. We take on a whole new routine, a new look, and new patterns. I often wonder if we lived there permanently whether we’d revert back to our Minnesota ways of doing life. I think not. Mexico holds a strong cultural energy to which we adapt. While in Mexico we let ourselves be open to the natural flow of the land, without a schedule or any expectations. We let ourselves live the “wind and water” of the place, as well as the beach and cerveza.

Political Feng Shui

It’s almost a year until the presidential elections and I’m already sick of the political scene. I’m tired of thinking about how much money is being spent on ads for these people when our health system is in dire need of financial resurrection. I’m tired of hearing about the tweak someone’s platform took when a candidate used different wording to describe their stand on Iraq. I reach for the remote when I have to hear again how the polls are doing. It’s a year away, people.

However, the thing that rankles me the most is when these intelligent, brilliant (okay, that might be a stretch), savvy individuals resort to standing in front of national television and spend their time, my time, and everyone’s time running down their opponents. Rather than explain their own positions on our world, clarify their proposed policies, explain their strategies if elected, they belittle their opponents, and, I feel, themselves in the process. Who taught them this was a good approach? Now it’s such a standard tactic that if one person doesn’t get on this accusatory band-wagon, they’re left in the dust.

Well, this is the world of politics, as disgusting as it is. What has really saddened me is that this strategy is now permeating the world of Feng Shui. Just this week two situations occurred which nearly brought me to tears. One was an article forwarded to me which was published in the Finance and Commerce magazine/journal, an obviously local publication here in Minnesota. During the course of the article, a practitioner from the compass school of Feng Shui discussed her observations about the IDS building in relation to City Center, two major buildings in downtown Minneapolis----one which has struggled from its beginning and the other which seems to be thriving. She didn’t explain if she was hired to do this or whether this was simply a way for her to express her views. Nonetheless, some valid and interesting points were made about these two buildings and how they affected one another. However, for some reason unknown to me, the practitioner was compelled to take a jab at the western version of Feng Shui (aka Black Sect, the other main school of Feng Shui) that is currently so popular in the States. She readily offered her “disdain” for this form of “psychobabble” and “nonsense.” I didn’t see any value that was gained in making derogatory remarks about the school and those of us who practice this form of Feng Shui. I re-read her comments which I originally thought were well-founded and insightful and, quite honestly, dismissed them. A knee-jerk reaction, I grant you.

The very next day another article came across my desk entitled “What You Should Know Before You Hire a Feng Shui Consultant.” This consultant, a compass student, left no doubt in anyone’s mind about her opinion of the western version. Yikes! I broke out in a cold sweat reading her comments and her experiences working with people who had had the great misfortune of hiring a Black Sect consultant. In between her valid suggestions about what and who to look for to make sure you get the help you want, she couldn’t keep from blasting away at a perspective different from her own. She could have easily made her point without the insults and jabs. Again, I couldn’t help but dismiss her 12-page diatribe in toto----the good with the bad.

Any one of us who work a lot, or even exclusively, in the realm of Black Sect Feng Shui could have responded to both articles, arguing each point, defending our own system, offering countless examples of how the allegations were not based on fact but rather on ignorance, and offering examples of how compass is “nonsense” as well. But what would have been the point of that? Besides, those of us in Black Sect don’t believe that at all. We know the two systems are different—neither one being better than the other. In September, I was part of a Feng Shui conference in New Jersey where the whole theme was about working together, no matter what school is our preference. It was a very empowering and successful undertaking. In all of my training in both the compass tradition and in Black Sect, my teachers were adamant about being non-critical of other schools, other teachers, other consultants.

Perhaps politics has entered the realm of Feng Shui. It doesn’t seem like a good move to me. The latter example mentioned above hit home pretty hard for me since this was a former student of mine. I know she didn’t learn that in the classes she attended here in Minneapolis. I ask what is gained from taking this approach? Perhaps these two people have been watching too many political debates?

In a perfect world, politicians would smile at one another, congratulate one another on their victories (and mean it), keep in mind the big picture (making the world a better place), and stop the critical comments. It goes without saying, Feng Shui practitioners would do the same. In my perfect world, I had hoped Feng Shui practitioners would help to lead the way to this new paradigm----maybe not yet.

Show Me the Money

I’ve been thinking about money a lot these days. Not because the holidays are here, not because I’m strapped, not because I just won the lottery. Most of this began because I have been facilitating a teleconference for a group of my graduates based on the book "Feng Shui and Money" by Eric Shaffert. His book is organized into nine sections with exercises, journaling topics and just plain soul-searching around the topic of money. We’re doing one of the nine sections each month.

I’ve always liked money and think I have a pretty good relationship with what it can do. I know people who have a love/hate thing going on with anything financial, or people who simply think it’s a very poor exchange mechanism and would rather do away with it entirely. I credit my mother for instilling in me a respect for money and for the value of spending wisely. She knew well the impact of the Depression so passed along the powerful lessons about saving and about delayed gratification.

As a result of the above mentioned teleconference, I have moved my relationship with money to new levels. One of the first issues that came up for me was that my husband and I have no wills. We travel a lot together and have never addressed the question about what if something happened to both of us...? Questions about what would happen to our money and our investments was right up there with what would happen to our three little kitties. We hired a lawyer. Writing a will isn’t an overnight task. We discussed all kinds of scenarios and some delicate questions, like how do we divide our assets equally between his side of the family and mine. Who should be in charge of disbursing it? Where does the money go and in what quantities? If I was truly going to take care of my money, I knew I had to protect it after I’m gone just as much as when I am here.

The other habit I re-initiated was spending only cash. I get cash at intervals during the month and then watch it leave my hands. If anything makes you mindful about spending, that will do it. I always watch with despair the television commercials for one of the credit cards where everyone is happily and efficiently moving through the store like a well-oiled clock making their purchases. Then one person shows up at the check-out with cash and everything comes to a screeching halt. Very embarrassed, the purchaser realizes their stupidity and pulls out the required credit card and everything gets back to its flow. I don’t let that deter me in the grocery line----I just get prepared. The money is in my hands before I even know the amount! I perhaps have offended a person or two behind me as I count out to the last penny in order to get the exact amount. But, I give them a big smile and move out of their way as quickly as I can.

Handling cash in American money is one thing, but handling cash in another country is a different experience. When I get Chinese yuan or Mexican pesos in my hands, it is nothing more than play money to me. I know I’m not alone in this idea. I hear people say it all the time as they buy something they may not need or particularly like----"This isn’t real money; it doesn’t matter." They even hand a wad of money to the clerk and say something like "Take what you need!" The danger of course is that such a serious disconnect to money, foreign or not, can send someone home with a lot less money but also a lot of stuff they’re not particularly wild about. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s just as real as American dollars and to keep my diligent spending habits in place.

Years ago I went on a five-day mini-vacation with a friend who I knew was strapped for money. Nevertheless, all the while we were strolling through shops or at market places, her credit card was working over time. Her justification was "I’m on vacation!" I often wondered what she said when all those credit card bills started showing up—and how her husband handled it who had so carefully been managing her carefree spending ways. Once she got out of a familiar venue, money reverted back to its original meaning for her----something to spend, spend, spend. Nothing I could say would dissuade her from buying a very unattractive, not to mention unflattering, Hawaiian shirt----she just had to have it. I had to borrow her some cash the last couple days of our trip because she had spent all of hers, and ATM’s were not available in those days. So her spending not only influenced her trip but mine as well. By the way, she only paid me back part of what she owed me, only after I asked her about it. I know she didn’t intentionally forget, but the realm of money is so disconnected from her reality that it just never came up again.

Last evening, Tom and I went to dinner with a friend. When she got change for her share of the dinner, she pulled out the bills she had in her wallet, integrated the change in such a way that all the bills were facing the same way and were in ascending order. I remarked on her automatic behavior. It was so automatic she was unaware she had done that and was also unaware there was anything unusual about it. In light of our teleconference discussions about money being energy, I saw at once the connection in how she treated her money and how she lived her life----owns her own house, has a good job, travels, goes to graduate school, just completed a huge remodeling project in her kitchen. That small habit spoke volumes to me.

Still, when I’m working with clients, the issue that always comes up as something they’re dissatisfied with or something they want to elicit some changes from is money. It’s clear many people have a difficult time relating to money. A lot of Feng Shui adjustments have evolved over the centuries around wealth and money, so this craving is not a new phenomenon. One last fall-out from the Feng Shui and money teleconference is that over Thanksgiving I approached my side of the family and suggested we not exchange presents this year. They all agreed and we decided that we’re going to take the money we would ordinarily spend and donate to a family my sister knows who sorely needs some financial help. Right now we all feel warm and fuzzy about that. What remains to be seen is how we’ll feel on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when there are no presents to open. Dissatisfied? impoverished? a little sad and nostalgic? My hope is that we’ll be overjoyed with how we’ve used our money in a positive way, avoided the shopping frenzy, and shared the blessings.