I’ve been thinking about money a lot these days. Not because the holidays are here, not because I’m strapped, not because I just won the lottery. Most of this began because I have been facilitating a teleconference for a group of my graduates based on the book "Feng Shui and Money" by Eric Shaffert. His book is organized into nine sections with exercises, journaling topics and just plain soul-searching around the topic of money. We’re doing one of the nine sections each month.
I’ve always liked money and think I have a pretty good relationship with what it can do. I know people who have a love/hate thing going on with anything financial, or people who simply think it’s a very poor exchange mechanism and would rather do away with it entirely. I credit my mother for instilling in me a respect for money and for the value of spending wisely. She knew well the impact of the Depression so passed along the powerful lessons about saving and about delayed gratification.
As a result of the above mentioned teleconference, I have moved my relationship with money to new levels. One of the first issues that came up for me was that my husband and I have no wills. We travel a lot together and have never addressed the question about what if something happened to both of us...? Questions about what would happen to our money and our investments was right up there with what would happen to our three little kitties. We hired a lawyer. Writing a will isn’t an overnight task. We discussed all kinds of scenarios and some delicate questions, like how do we divide our assets equally between his side of the family and mine. Who should be in charge of disbursing it? Where does the money go and in what quantities? If I was truly going to take care of my money, I knew I had to protect it after I’m gone just as much as when I am here.
The other habit I re-initiated was spending only cash. I get cash at intervals during the month and then watch it leave my hands. If anything makes you mindful about spending, that will do it. I always watch with despair the television commercials for one of the credit cards where everyone is happily and efficiently moving through the store like a well-oiled clock making their purchases. Then one person shows up at the check-out with cash and everything comes to a screeching halt. Very embarrassed, the purchaser realizes their stupidity and pulls out the required credit card and everything gets back to its flow. I don’t let that deter me in the grocery line----I just get prepared. The money is in my hands before I even know the amount! I perhaps have offended a person or two behind me as I count out to the last penny in order to get the exact amount. But, I give them a big smile and move out of their way as quickly as I can.
Handling cash in American money is one thing, but handling cash in another country is a different experience. When I get Chinese yuan or Mexican pesos in my hands, it is nothing more than play money to me. I know I’m not alone in this idea. I hear people say it all the time as they buy something they may not need or particularly like----"This isn’t real money; it doesn’t matter." They even hand a wad of money to the clerk and say something like "Take what you need!" The danger of course is that such a serious disconnect to money, foreign or not, can send someone home with a lot less money but also a lot of stuff they’re not particularly wild about. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s just as real as American dollars and to keep my diligent spending habits in place.
Years ago I went on a five-day mini-vacation with a friend who I knew was strapped for money. Nevertheless, all the while we were strolling through shops or at market places, her credit card was working over time. Her justification was "I’m on vacation!" I often wondered what she said when all those credit card bills started showing up—and how her husband handled it who had so carefully been managing her carefree spending ways. Once she got out of a familiar venue, money reverted back to its original meaning for her----something to spend, spend, spend. Nothing I could say would dissuade her from buying a very unattractive, not to mention unflattering, Hawaiian shirt----she just had to have it. I had to borrow her some cash the last couple days of our trip because she had spent all of hers, and ATM’s were not available in those days. So her spending not only influenced her trip but mine as well. By the way, she only paid me back part of what she owed me, only after I asked her about it. I know she didn’t intentionally forget, but the realm of money is so disconnected from her reality that it just never came up again.
Last evening, Tom and I went to dinner with a friend. When she got change for her share of the dinner, she pulled out the bills she had in her wallet, integrated the change in such a way that all the bills were facing the same way and were in ascending order. I remarked on her automatic behavior. It was so automatic she was unaware she had done that and was also unaware there was anything unusual about it. In light of our teleconference discussions about money being energy, I saw at once the connection in how she treated her money and how she lived her life----owns her own house, has a good job, travels, goes to graduate school, just completed a huge remodeling project in her kitchen. That small habit spoke volumes to me.
Still, when I’m working with clients, the issue that always comes up as something they’re dissatisfied with or something they want to elicit some changes from is money. It’s clear many people have a difficult time relating to money. A lot of Feng Shui adjustments have evolved over the centuries around wealth and money, so this craving is not a new phenomenon. One last fall-out from the Feng Shui and money teleconference is that over Thanksgiving I approached my side of the family and suggested we not exchange presents this year. They all agreed and we decided that we’re going to take the money we would ordinarily spend and donate to a family my sister knows who sorely needs some financial help. Right now we all feel warm and fuzzy about that. What remains to be seen is how we’ll feel on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when there are no presents to open. Dissatisfied? impoverished? a little sad and nostalgic? My hope is that we’ll be overjoyed with how we’ve used our money in a positive way, avoided the shopping frenzy, and shared the blessings.
I’ve always liked money and think I have a pretty good relationship with what it can do. I know people who have a love/hate thing going on with anything financial, or people who simply think it’s a very poor exchange mechanism and would rather do away with it entirely. I credit my mother for instilling in me a respect for money and for the value of spending wisely. She knew well the impact of the Depression so passed along the powerful lessons about saving and about delayed gratification.
As a result of the above mentioned teleconference, I have moved my relationship with money to new levels. One of the first issues that came up for me was that my husband and I have no wills. We travel a lot together and have never addressed the question about what if something happened to both of us...? Questions about what would happen to our money and our investments was right up there with what would happen to our three little kitties. We hired a lawyer. Writing a will isn’t an overnight task. We discussed all kinds of scenarios and some delicate questions, like how do we divide our assets equally between his side of the family and mine. Who should be in charge of disbursing it? Where does the money go and in what quantities? If I was truly going to take care of my money, I knew I had to protect it after I’m gone just as much as when I am here.
The other habit I re-initiated was spending only cash. I get cash at intervals during the month and then watch it leave my hands. If anything makes you mindful about spending, that will do it. I always watch with despair the television commercials for one of the credit cards where everyone is happily and efficiently moving through the store like a well-oiled clock making their purchases. Then one person shows up at the check-out with cash and everything comes to a screeching halt. Very embarrassed, the purchaser realizes their stupidity and pulls out the required credit card and everything gets back to its flow. I don’t let that deter me in the grocery line----I just get prepared. The money is in my hands before I even know the amount! I perhaps have offended a person or two behind me as I count out to the last penny in order to get the exact amount. But, I give them a big smile and move out of their way as quickly as I can.
Handling cash in American money is one thing, but handling cash in another country is a different experience. When I get Chinese yuan or Mexican pesos in my hands, it is nothing more than play money to me. I know I’m not alone in this idea. I hear people say it all the time as they buy something they may not need or particularly like----"This isn’t real money; it doesn’t matter." They even hand a wad of money to the clerk and say something like "Take what you need!" The danger of course is that such a serious disconnect to money, foreign or not, can send someone home with a lot less money but also a lot of stuff they’re not particularly wild about. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s just as real as American dollars and to keep my diligent spending habits in place.
Years ago I went on a five-day mini-vacation with a friend who I knew was strapped for money. Nevertheless, all the while we were strolling through shops or at market places, her credit card was working over time. Her justification was "I’m on vacation!" I often wondered what she said when all those credit card bills started showing up—and how her husband handled it who had so carefully been managing her carefree spending ways. Once she got out of a familiar venue, money reverted back to its original meaning for her----something to spend, spend, spend. Nothing I could say would dissuade her from buying a very unattractive, not to mention unflattering, Hawaiian shirt----she just had to have it. I had to borrow her some cash the last couple days of our trip because she had spent all of hers, and ATM’s were not available in those days. So her spending not only influenced her trip but mine as well. By the way, she only paid me back part of what she owed me, only after I asked her about it. I know she didn’t intentionally forget, but the realm of money is so disconnected from her reality that it just never came up again.
Last evening, Tom and I went to dinner with a friend. When she got change for her share of the dinner, she pulled out the bills she had in her wallet, integrated the change in such a way that all the bills were facing the same way and were in ascending order. I remarked on her automatic behavior. It was so automatic she was unaware she had done that and was also unaware there was anything unusual about it. In light of our teleconference discussions about money being energy, I saw at once the connection in how she treated her money and how she lived her life----owns her own house, has a good job, travels, goes to graduate school, just completed a huge remodeling project in her kitchen. That small habit spoke volumes to me.
Still, when I’m working with clients, the issue that always comes up as something they’re dissatisfied with or something they want to elicit some changes from is money. It’s clear many people have a difficult time relating to money. A lot of Feng Shui adjustments have evolved over the centuries around wealth and money, so this craving is not a new phenomenon. One last fall-out from the Feng Shui and money teleconference is that over Thanksgiving I approached my side of the family and suggested we not exchange presents this year. They all agreed and we decided that we’re going to take the money we would ordinarily spend and donate to a family my sister knows who sorely needs some financial help. Right now we all feel warm and fuzzy about that. What remains to be seen is how we’ll feel on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day when there are no presents to open. Dissatisfied? impoverished? a little sad and nostalgic? My hope is that we’ll be overjoyed with how we’ve used our money in a positive way, avoided the shopping frenzy, and shared the blessings.
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